GEAR

Recording Equipment

Digidesign ProTools Mix Plus system - this thing was expensive when I bought it. Now they have a newer version: the "HD accell". Way I figure it, the only thing it really accells at is increasing consumer debt. Don't count on me buying it anytime soon.
Apple Macintosh dual G-4 - this thing is relatively NEW but already obsolete. And slow.
Apple Macintosh: the original from 1984 - this is sure a nostalgic conversation piece
Pentium IV - 2.3 ghz running Win XP with just enough megs of ram to crash periodically. I just wanted to have a Windows PC in the studio so that I can help contribute something to the Bill Gates retirement fund.
Sony MT-102 monophonic tape recorder. Record with this thing and you are back to 1962 all over again. Turn it on and you get that burned dust smell just like the creepy attic at your wierdo uncles' house.
Mackie d8b - digital recording console with somewhere between 56 to 72 inputs - depending on how you count them. This thing was likewise pretty expensive back in the day although they are giving them away for free now. And of course it is totally obsolete. It isn't even 24 bit. I think it's only 22 or 23.
Rane 20 channel line mixers. . I unplugged em' and they STILL WORKED!! Whats up with that?
Rosendahl Nanosyncs - word clock master generator. This thing is made by Germans so I assume that it is brilliantly engineered but I really can't tell if it makes a difference in the sound or not.
It does look cool, however.
Panasonic 3800 DAT. Vintage 16 bit sound. Haven't turned it on in a few. Hope it still works.
Crown d-150 power amp
Yamaha 1200 power amps - a matched pair. These cannot become obsolete since they were never new. I love it when that happens.
Behringer headphone amp. Hey - aren't these made in Germany?
All kinds of Firewire, IDE, USB, Ultra wide 2 as well as narrow SCSI drives. Some of them just sit there and laugh at me.
Jaz & Zip drives, Syquest 88 meg cartridge drives. Obsolete? Wouldn't have it any other way.
Panasonic, Matsushita, Yamaha CD/DVD writer and re-writer, paperback writer.
Various regular-old CD players - some of them even work
192 point balanced TT patch bay
192 tt patch cables - these tiny little things are like $18 each. And I have about 192 of em'. Being analog, they are naturally obsolete.
Lexicon Vortex
Urei 535 stereo 10-band graphic equalizer. Got to give props to the old school. Looks awesome. Sounds old school.
Empirical Labs Stereo Distressor - an absolutely fantastic sounding pair of devices that, strangely enough, are made by Americans, rather than by brilliant Germans
HHB Classic 60 Stereo Tube Compressor. Cannot become obsolescent since it is vintage. Can somebody please explain to me what the "British Sound" is?
Maestro Ring Modulator - I think it still works although the Maestro company has been out of business since about 72. Or 73. So much for my lifetime warrantee...

Midi Equipment

Akai MPC-3000 beatbox. The classic hiphop machine. Obsolete - dontcha know it? And totally incompatible with any other extant file system. But I gotta represent...
Casio CZ-101 keyboard. This thing requires very small fingers to play properly.
Doepfer MS-404 Analog monophonic synth. We call it: [404 - not found]. A brilliantly designed German device with an extensive manual thoughtfully written in German.
You would think that in this day and age that they would have finally gotten around to giving you more than one monophonic voice, but apparently the brilliant German musicians who use this device do not require more than one monophonic voice to create brilliant music...
Emu Proteus 1 - Some of the presets still work.
Emu Proteus 2000
Emu Audity 2000   Yeah I know- it is now 2007.
Korg Prophecy - analog modeling keyboard. . Doesn't look like any of the models I see around the neighborhood...
Korg Electribe - drum box Haven't seen it around here in a few. Must be out on loan..
MOTU Midi Time Piece AV - This is pre-USB. One of them still works, albeit grudgingly.
Nord Rack 2 - analog modeling synth. Swedish made. Simple and easy. Sounds great.
Roland JV-1080 with Rom cards
Waldorf Microwave XT - wavetable synthesizer. Brilliant. German. Still haven't figured it out in 5 years of use.
Yamaha DX7-2fd keyboard. It's so old that they call it the "floppy disc' model as if that was some cool new technology. Now its some cool ancient technology.

It's so old that that software synths are now "modeling" it. Were the 80'z really all that?

Yamaha Motif ES keyboard. I'm sorry but this thing is so convoluted I wouldn't be surprised if Yamaha licensed the operating stystem from the Germans. It's not yet obsolete, but has been superseded by the Motif XS, which is apparently way cooler.
"Syndrums" disco era set of 4
LinnDrum - the original from 1981

Software

Digidesign Pro Tools 5.1 This software was designed and created by friendly, happy, laid-back American hippies. It is simple, logical and exceptionally easy to use.
Emagic Logic 6.4. Actually, though I have in fact purchased version 7.1, I am still using version 6.3 because I am apparently possessing insufficient brilliance to be able to make the great leap forward to version 7. This software is designed by awesomely brilliant Germans and I am painfully reminded of that fact every time I use it and cannot figure out how to perform some simple and basic function. Consequently, I tend to end up in an extraordinarily foul mood every time I use it - which is truly unfortunate because I use it everyday.
Emagic software instruments: Exs24, Evp-88, Evoc20. Yeah, I bought this stuff and use them occasionally but I have the sinking suspicion that I am not brilliant enough to fully utilize these instruments in the manner in which the brilliant German software designers intended.
There is hope, however, since Emagic was recently purchased by Apple - a sensible American corporation.
TDM plugins - these things are ridiculously overpriced so consequently I only have a very few of them. And I can't be bothered to list them either.
Reason by Propellerheads. This is an awesome piece of software made by smart Swedes - not coincidental, considering the close geographical proximity of Sweden to the brilliance of Germany.
Bias Peak
Live by Ableton. Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know it's made by Germans but I harbor suspicions that they have hired some other nationalities to write the software because I have actually figured out how to use it. And it IS brilliant - even by the normally impossibly high standards of brilliance set by the Teutonic race.

Microphones

Monitors

Yamaha ns10-m-s. I have several sets in basic black. I don't like these things any more than anybody else does, but like a terminal illness, you eventually get used to it......
Tannoy PS 110-B sub-woofer. Great for shaking tsotchkes off the wall and making rappers think that they sh**t bumps yo".
Auratones - the cubes that mixed countless great 1970's hits. Of course it is currently 2007, but a little nostalgia is not such a bad thing.... One of em' got knocked off the console and fell onto a wah wah pedal, damaging the cone. i smoothed it out by hand, plugged it back in, and it sounds exactly the same.
Yamaha el cheapo speakers - these-are-too-cheap-to-even-have-a-name
AKG 240 headphones. Brilliantly engineered German headphones that will not actually reproduce sound until you purchase an additional headphone-only preamplifier. Once you have invested in two seperate amplifiers they do sound brilliant, however
Sony 7502 headphones - plug them in and they make sound. No brilliance required.
Radio Shack cheepie headphones-held-together-with-sticky-electrical-tape. - plug them in and it is 1974 again.
Boombox - circa A.D. 1985

Other Stuff

Fast DSL line for easy downloading of other studio's equipment lists
Technics 1200 turntable
Fender Stratocaster guitar. Looks cool. Can't play a lick.
Fake Hofner bass guitar. Paul McCartney plays the real Hofner. Sir Paul, as you know, is British - NOT German.
Ovation acoustic guitar
Classic 1974 Gretsch drum kit - Champagne sparkle pearl finish, with Zildjian cymbals
Sony "U-Matic" 3/4" video deck
Semi-private parking lot - complete with a guy who watches your car - when he is awake
In-house Japanese/English translators
Herman Miller "Aeron" chair
Hand cranked analog pencil sharpener. Just trying to keep it real.